A few pictures

To prove that I am indeed safe and feeling fine, I suppose a picture of me would be in order. So here you go, a quick pic that is neither significant or flattering. If you are missing my huge eyes, or my bald head, then perhaps this is a quick fix. I assure you, my smile is much more magical in person, but this is all I can offer.
For a period of several months, there is no rain in Amman. That is simply the way it is. It might not rain until as late as December, but there is no way of telling. Anyhow, today was the first day that I saw clouds in Amman, and I was quite thrilled to see an image that was once common. It occurred as I was walking back to my "residence" and it was so striking. It is amazing how delightful such a simple image becomes when it is a rarity.
This is my host brother, Zaid, who is very much a social butterfly. A good contrast for me.

A night view of Amman, and though it is nice, I think I can find better.

Sadly, these pictures are not exactly of the quality that I wish they were, but alas, this is the best that I can do...so no complaining. If you have better pictures that you have taken of Jordan, then start your own blog. I am continuing to adjust, though I am finding that I have plenty of stubbornness in me. Perhaps I should be moving away from contentedness to try to invest myself a little more in what I am doing here. It is a work in progress, I'll let you know how it goes. In the mean time, ilhamdulilaah. Peace.

Second Week

A lot has happened since I last wrote, but I don't think I have the patience to chronicle all of it in significant detail. If you really want more, just shoot me an email.

Here are just a couple of the recent encounters and experiences: I went to a banquet held at a mansion on a large olive and fig tree farm. The banquet was being held to celebrate the recovery of a man who had experienced kidney failure and several other complications, but had miraculously recovered from a very risky surgery. I met him and his son (who donated a kidney to his father), all the while being immersed in the extravagance of the situation. His story was very unique, as he had gone to Germany to study and earned five engineering degrees. When he returned to Jordan, his degrees initially weren't recognized. Eventually, it was all sorted out. He designed his farm, literally cutting stone out of a hillside to create a series of steps to serve as rows for the trees. At the top, he built his mansion. A project costing millions, but the landscape is beautiful, truly a work of art. The house is in Salt, where I will be working in a few weeks, so I hope to capture a picture and post it at some point. (Salt, by the way, provides some spectacular views, and I will get as many pictures as I can.)

I also went to the Orthodox Club, which has about 12,000 families who have memberships (and it is almost exclusively Christian). We ate there, and I was once again tricked into eating too much. My host family ordered about 7 personal sized pizzas, and so I take a couple pieces, and have a third placed on my plate. These are somewhat small pieces, and my host family thinks I look a bodybuilder (yeah, I thought "what?????" as well), so I kind of have a reputation to live up to. So I down the pizza, only to have a perpetual pizza convoy arriving as I finish each piece. Eventually, I have eaten 8 pieces and am feeling ready to go. So we sit for about 40 minutes, and in their cunning, charming way, my family is coaxing me to eat more pizza. And then it happens...the ACTUAL meal is brought out. Hummus, kabaabs, salads, breads...I am already full. But, in a tactful display of selective Alzheimer's, the people me around pretend as if I am a starving child needing to break a fast. A language barrier appears instantaneously (though my host family speaks great English...), and when I say "no more, please, I beg of you" they interpret it as "seriously, I want to eat until I puke, so pile it on". I am trying everything, like hand signals, or even covering my plate with a napkin, but to no avail. I must simply be bad at eating, though I didn't realize it until I arrived in Jordan.

Following the meal, I was subjected to a small concert, which I was initially hesitant about. It ended up being great. There was a competition for local singers, and a performer who would sing in between. It was almost exclusively traditional songs, and I found that I enjoy most of them despite not being able to understand a single word. It was a fun filled evening full of clapping, yelling, and lots of hand motions. Quite nice.

Arabic is still coming along slowly, but I have some basics down. Still, I am not good at using the little bit of Arabic that I have. I have to be so deliberate about even attempting to use it that it ends up feeling like I'm not communicating at all. And when I try to listen to a conversation in Arabic, I end up concentrating exclusively on everything except the words. It is something that I have trained myself to do in social situations. I don't pay attention to what the people around me are saying, but rather the manner in which they say it, the emotion they display, their body language, their context. I get so caught up in behavioral patterns that I rarely observe the language, which makes it tough to pick up on the intricacies that I need to be learning. I could be frustrated, but I am content knowing that this is how I interact with the world around me. All I can do is adapt as best I can, and hope I do an adequate job.

At orientation, we talked a lot about the "honeymoon period" that will eventually wear off when placed in a new culture. I don't know if I am experiencing that now, or if I am waiting for it to come. Right now, it pretty much seems like I am still participating in the same life, guided by the same God, unifying me with whatever scenario is placed in front of me. The people change, the traditions change, the expectations change, but there are elements of life that transcend all the changes and provide me with stability. Pretty sweet deal, if you ask me. Maybe within two months, I will be crying myself to sleep every night, asking myself why I came here...if so, I hope everyone reading this will laugh at the irony of my plight. And then you can tell me I am a sissy who lost track of the reasons I am here and the consistency of God's presence and love. I'll expect you to do so, and if you do, all will be well. Thanks. Peace.

Kansas out.

In Amman...

So, I have made it to Jordan, and am already immersed in an array of experiences in a culture in which I feel slightly more competent than an infant. Great, no? I hesitate give you my impressions of some experiences I have had so far, but I feel as if all of my own cultural influences would make those impressions too nuanced to accurately depict life in Jordan. Still, this is the best I can do...

The traffic here is seemingly chaotic, yet streamlined and manageable to a native driver. Roundabouts at major intersections provide ample opportunity for the courageous pilot to swoop through gaps that seem to be significantly thinner than the average automobile, although space spontaneously generates to provide an exit, thus avoiding a trip round the circle to try again. Lanes are fluid, and the horn is used generously. As I said, it seems chaotic, yet everyone is aware and I get from one location to another without consequence. Maybe chaos can be organized after all.

The food has been fantastic. I have only been exposed to a few things, but the experience has been great. Hoummus, falafel, shwarma...a small sampling (forgive my spelling, these are not words I would usually use). I find myself limiting how much I eat, as I have already been uncomfortably full on numerous occasions.

My host family is so gracious and generous, adopting me into their clan immediately. Although I have some significantly different behaviors and practices (mostly social) than they do, they are patiently accepting (though perhaps puzzled). I, in turn, am trying to incorporate myself into as much as possible while still considering my needs and being cautious not to compromise myself just for the sake of fitting into a role. It is a fine line, but I am trying to walk it with humility and understanding. They are fun and I am enjoying my time.

So, I am making this transition, where I will with my host family be for a little more than three weeks, while I continue taking Arabic lessons. I almost typed "lesions" instead of "lessons", but the former might actually be more accurate. I am simply bad at Arabic, not because I am incapable of learning words, but because the sounds are so foreign and I don't seem to pick them up quickly. The teacher is patient, but I can tell when she gives up to prevent from "shaming" me. It is when I am trying, for the 10th time, to distinguish between a soft "h" and a heavy "h", and she give me the look. The look that says, "I know you are trying, but I think that I have heard better pronounciation from the apathetic evening wind." And don't ask me how I know if that is what she is thinking, because I don't (I bet her thoughts are in Arabic, and as you know, mine is lousy). And don't even get me started on the sound I would describe as "ayan", or more accurately, the feeble attempt of a dying cat to meow. I haven't got that one down yet, but if you happen to have a recording of a dying cat, send it to me and it might help.

In all seriousness, though, the language is beautiful and I am doing my best to pick it up. I don't have much time, but I am investing what I can in learning. Any amount of progress is important, and I don't expect to be an intermediate any time soon, probably not even in a year.

The heat here reminds me of Kansas, and I frequently think of those of you back "home". And although I have a new home, that doesn't make me feel any more distant from you (at least not more than a few thousand miles). If you feel like being a bit closer, just slide a bit to the east...

Peace, always.

More Orientation

A lot is going on here, and all of it is relevant to the next year. Culture shock, harassment on location, communicating across cultures, practical approaches to connecting with your host family, maintaining communication with your established support network, and much more. Add on to that a lot of new acquaintances (some of whom affectionately call me "Kansas") and playing of games like Ultimate, Sand Volleyball, and Kick the Can...well, there is a lot going on with little time to process what is actually happening. It is overwhelming and invigorating at the same time.

Still, the continuing theme is that each one of us will make mistakes. Regardless of knowledge, intention, or preparation, not a single person will leave this orientation with the tools to be completely successful in integrating into another culture. It's not a profound statement. Orientation has done an incredible job, though, at cultivating awareness, which I consider to be a characteristic that will be paramount. Whether it is awareness of customs, failures, a plethora of emotions, or God's presence through it all, my effectiveness will be determined by this constant mindfulness of what is going on around me. And more importantly, then, will be my responses. Will I respond in accordance to my cultural conditioning? Will I turn inwardly to make evaluations based on my own limited, selfish perspective? Will my actions reflect a bitterness and general arrogance fueled by a sense of futility and aloneness? Or will I just spend my time wishing I was elsewhere, with my comforts, my friends, my typical environment? I hope I don't succumb to any of these things, but I am just as susceptible as any other individual.

Yet, I hope I have at least a chance to separate myself from such fallacies. When I looked at my summer plans initially, I didn't think I was doing a lot to prepare for this journey. Now, I see so many things that molded me into a shape that is hopefully more capable, more loving, more focused, and with direction. I was put in situations where I had no idea what would happen, there weren't very many people I knew, and I had to just do things as they were handed to me, all the while trusting that I was in this position because God truly intended for me to be. Which isn't to say that I didn't relish the opportunity to be at camps most of the summer, but there were situations that I hadn't anticipated and were challenging in small ways. Now, as I am embarking on a journey of much greater magnitude and challenge, I wonder if those personal trials will still serve as spiritual landmarks to set straight a path that may have otherwise been off course to begin.

Time will tell, and I am subject to time regardless of whether or not I am truly ready. I don't think I'll ever be ready for this responsibility, because quite frankly, I am still the Brent that some of you knew 15 years ago. Always wanting to be home, passionately curious, dubiously energetic, terrified of injury, exceedingly talkative, never full when candy is around, undefeated in the game of "memory", and quite fond of ice cream and a back rub (conveniently requested to prolong the enforced bed time). I haven't grown up that much, and it is mostly intentional, but what has changed is how I make decisions. I no longer worry about whether I should watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or Aladdin (Rudolph usually won). I have to consider if my actions reflect my convictions. And when it comes down to that, being at camp served as a necessary reminder of how I should live. I can still be that 8-year old Brent, maybe with a little more wisdom, as long as I stay in line with an important verse I took to heart this summer. Proverbs 3:5-6. Look it up, read it several different ways. See if it speaks to you the way it speaks to me.

I should go to bed, but right now I am too much of that 8-year old Brent. I don't want to go to bed, and while I am tired, the stars above Akron, PA, are calling my name and I want to give them the appropriate attention. I am thinking of you all, each with different triggers and at different times, but I love you and miss you already. Know that I am taking you with me, in one form or another. Until next time, peace.

SALT Orientation

I am in the midst of orientation into MCC's SALT program, and loving my time here. In just a few more days, I will be departing for Jordan, but right now I am enjoying fellowship with some amazing people.

As promised, I will try to keep in touch, and this blog will be one of the more indirect attempts at doing so. Still, this passive communication will let you know what is going on in my life, and may even prompt you to send e-mails or communicate by different means. This is just my initial report, and I assure you, there will be more to come. Until then, peace.